“I’m basically a single mom right now….”
I just can’t hear it anymore from people who are far from single moms. Trust me, I used to be the person who said this jokingly, until I befriended many single moms. And I quickly learned, I am anything but.
No exaggeration, I probably hear this phrase from someone I know about once a week. It could be in a causal conversation about a husband on a guy’s night, a husband gone with another child for the day, a husband gone for a two-day work trip…whatever, it happens. I’m not to minimize the struggle of being alone by any means, because know being alone with children can be very challenging.
I hear you.
I have empathy.
I’ve recently just wrapped up a yearly process in which my husband is gone the majority of time from Christmas to the middle of March. The days are long and sometimes I don’t even know if I can make it to bedtime. It’s hard, really hard, but there’s also days filled with amazing moments that make up for the epic “on the floor in the middle of the store” type of breakdowns. I can relate to being a “single mom” in this way:
I know what it’s like to tackle nights of no sleep by yourself.
I know what it’s like to try to get two kids fed, dressed and out the door in the morning by yourself.
I know what it’s like to feel like you are all alone and living with two little dictators that cause such a mind cluster because they’re so cute.
I know what it’s like to lie in bed alone listening to every single noise in the house.
BUT, this doesn’t make me a single mom.
If anything I am far from a single mom in these moments. Far from….
I have the resources to get help with sitters when needed for a “night off”.
I have the help of very supportive parents willing to come to my rescue whenever needed.
I have a husband who can send me a message of encouragement, a funny meme or just tell me “I love you” daily.
I have a husband who when he is around is the incredible with letting me catch up on sleep, playing with the kids and brings me coffee in bed on a Sunday.
I have a husband, who along with myself, runs a business in which the two of us are bringing two incomes to our household.
I have a husband who is my partner is this parenting game– someone to help me in tough parenting moments or the one that can be “the bad guy” every so often.
I am not alone.
Think about that next time you utter “I am basically a single mom”. Think about the single mom out there struggling to work hard to make sure her child is fed, while she probably hasn’t caught up on sleep in years. Think about the single mom who has no family around and cannot afford to get help. Next time your partner comes home with a bag full of groceries, think about the single mom who walks or takes a bus everywhere, even to get her child milk. Think about the single mom who looses a day of income when her baby has a fever and she needs to get them to the doctor. Think about the single mom who hasn’t had a “girls night out” in, well, who knows when, because she can’t leave her child for she has no help.
Just think about it
Think about it hard. Think about what it would be like if you really were a single mom. I know I can’t even begin to imagine, which is why I tell my single mom friends that they are the most Amazing, Strong, Selfless, Fearless and simply Incredible women I know. I bow dow to you…..
our trip to new york city was nothing short of magical and for many reasons. first, we were in the most amazing, diverse and festive city during the holidays! second, the kids won gold stars for the week with how well they transitioned, adjusted to be in a different time zone, were on the go, etc…big win! bean is short of russian roulette sometimes and there was only one 10 minute breakdown over not having the same fork as carter. a complete win. third, this was our first trip just the four of us. we kept saying how “weird” it was to be with each other so much uninterrupted. and lastly, i didn’t work. for the first time really i can remember, minus a few emails here and there, i didn’t bring my laptop or do anything. a true vacation. it was the most freeing experience and i learned that it’s possible and we need to be doing more. the entire combination of the perfect positive storm (oxymoron?) is making me want to already plan our next adventure!
in a period of five nights we packed more into our calendar than i thought possible with littles. when we went over the itinerary prior, ryan kept saying he was already tired and needed a vacation. from dinning at some of my favorite spots, like serendipity and sarabeth’s, to walking the entire city one day (4 miles!), to seeing the rockettes and taking carter to a knicks game, to even jetting over to brooklyn for an afternoon, and to managing seeing two santas, we were on a roll! oh and how can i forget a full day in central park which included the zoo and ice skating….errr, an ice lap complete with an epic fall (see above!). not to be forgotten, in true ‘home alone in nyc’ fashion, the kiddos wore matching flannel pjs, ate pizza and ice cream, and of course over-flowed themselves on hot coco. i expected nothing less.
the best part of traveling with the littles was arranging a sitter for a few nights so we would go out. we had one of the best dinners at il mulino, and thanks to brazilian martinis before hand, we were going for some “artsy” photos. oh vey. the highlight was seeing billy joel in his city, well i feel our favorite city, and having him place literally every single one of my favorite songs. he opened with “miami 2017″ which i told ryan i wished he did. (look up the history, kind cool) i’ll spare you the unhealthy amount of videos i have that we both took throughout the concert, but if you’re lucky enough you may have caught the show on my snapchat. coffee the next morning was needed.
the magic, the allure, the vibe, the smells, the sounds, the romance, the novelty, the buzz, the diversity, the joy, the wonder, the lights, the food, the spirit….it all made the perfect week possible, and i’ll say it again, MAGICAL.
Thanks to some free hotel stays and grandparents jumping to watch the kids, we’ve been able to have two nights away this month to Downtown Los Angeles. Prior to kiddos and work getting so crazy, I used to love exploring and trying out all the latest and greatest spots featured throughout LA publications. Since then, I fall asleep at night flagging favorite spots from bloggers or magazines I follow, until I get the chance to venture out. We had 24 hours each time, but I must say got in a lot in that time. Please send me any and all of your favorite places so I can flag them for our next outing. Next up? Venice–Abbott Kinney. So many restaurants on my list!!
Below is a list of where we went and had the absolute best time.
Quite a thrill being a tourist in your own city….
Dinner and Drinks at Bar Mateo
Coffee at Alfred Coffee
Breakfast at Local in Silverlake
Lobster rolls at Knuckle & Claw in Silverlake
Ice Cream at Salt & Straw in Larchmont
We spent the night at Bar Mateo as we were there for a birthday party. What a fun and funky place with great cocktails and surprisingly REALLY good vegan food. Like really good. Get the burrito. You’re welcome. The next morning we ventured to Silverlake to cross a few places off my list, including Alfred Coffee and Local. The chilaquiles at Local were incredible and I crave them now way too often. The perfect balance of everything in a bowl! Ryan is slightly obsessed with lobster so Knuckle & Claw was a little heaven for him. He said they have just the right proportion of melted butter to the meat. I’ll take his word for it. I was more conceded about trying ice cream from Salt & Straw. Their salted carmel was ridiculous as was their cookie dough. True confession, I ate both of the cones in the picture. Their flavors are so unique and I am counting down until I can go back!
Lunch throughout Grand Central Market
—Golden Pond, random Asian house, McConnel’s ice cream, & random kabob house— (yes, we napped)
Drinks at The Ace Hotel, Perch & The Varnish
Dinner at Bestia
Breakfast at Eggslut & Shave Ice truck
Lobster rolls at Knuckle & Claw (I don’t eat but Ryan loved so much we made a stop!)
How we had never been to Grand Central Market before I just don’t know!? We ate our way through then took a nap. My requirement on a day away! We ventured to some bar hopping starting with The Ace Hotel. Quite the scene on a Saturday and while good cocktails, wasn’t really the vibe we were going for. Rather book a trip to Vegas so we snapped a scenic pic and moved on. We’ve been to Perch before and loved the views to go back. The Spicy Comcombre cocktail is a hidden surprise of spicy that’s so good, but not too pungent. Our favorite stop was The Varnish, hidden inside Cole’s in DTLA, which we had been before. You are taken back in time to a speakeasy bar in which you tell them what type of alcohol you like and voila they make something to your liking. Pretty amazing vibe and quite the adventure, but epic people watching in the staff. We were a little underwhelmed by our experience at Bestia. Don’t get me wrong, the food was good, but not as amazing as they hype going into it. I will say their tomato salad was absolutely delicious with the sweetest tomatoes ever! For me, the highlight was Eggslut. Maybe it’s because I had a massive hangover and needed something to soak it all up. Well, the wait of a hour, yes an hour, was completely worth it. The OJ is almost worth the wait. Just make sure to add avocado as one local frequenter told me. Best choice ever.