The other day a friend asked me how Ryan and I met, which for those that don’t know us is kind of a fun story. Long story short, I tore my ACL and he did my rehab, proving that out of every situation there’s something good. But then she asked about our first date and I just started laughing before recounting the most awkward night EVER! So, I thought I would share the embarrassment as I honestly don’t know how we are still together.
At the time, I was a patient and younger (much younger) than Ryan. Well, still am obviously with our 10 year gap. There was an immediate connection for both of us but I think we weren’t sure if “those lines” could be crossed due to client-patient rules, age, family and what not. He knew I liked him and he clearly liked me as he made a Prince playlist for me when I came in to rehab. And I watched old mob movies like “Carlito’s Way” until 2am to make sure I had some cool Italian background conversation ready to go.
Being the chivalrous guy that he is, he called my dad and asked him if he could go to the movies with me. That really should have been my first clue that this was a date, but I am going to blame the ACL drugs on not being fully clear. So we met one night at the Agoura movie theatre, pre-renovation, to go see ‘Talladega Nights: The Legend of Ricky Bobby.” We got snacks and Ryan led the way into the theatre….it went down hill from here.
I started to panic. Was this a date? Was he into me? Were we going to be just friends? Guys, it was so stressful in those hobbling moments down the aisle that I made a decision that I would ultimately regret, but now makes for a good story. I LEFT A SEAT IN BETWEEN US. YES. AN EMPTY SEAT. Who does that? Even if he was just a friend, who seriously leaves a seat? I would like to blame being in a leg cast and needing more room or whatever, but I simply cannot. I was just awkward. And lost. Then throughout the movie we are laughing and I thought to scoot one seat over, but then that would be even more awkward to get closer after being apart. Oh vey….
So we walked out of the theatre and were small talking about who knows what. The time came for goodbye and as if the night couldn’t be any more uncomfortable, Ryan went for a high five. A HIGH FIVE folks! Like full hand above the head, arm straight up, like your cheering your buddy that just came off the field type of thing. Naturally I responded and felt like shouting,’Let’s go team!’. But who am I to judge after my bold move?
Fast forward and somehow, yes somehow, after the most awkward first date ever we are still together. Somehow….
Please tell me there are other people out there with worse first date stories!!? Share!!!!
It’s time for me to vent a little bit, but prior to doing so remember this forum is my outlet for however I may be feeling. Despite whatever you read know I am still so beyond deeply grateful to be pregnant with this little girl and cannot wait to meet her. That should go without saying right?
So big shocker, but I am still not a fan of being pregnant. Remember last time? This time around it has already been quite the journey and I am only 4 months along. People, that means we’re not even half way! That’s 6 more months to go. Oh vey!
I was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum again. Say that 10 times fast. If you’re up to speed with your royal news, it may sound familiar because it’s the same illness Princess Kate Middleton has. She totally copied me by the way, because I was preggo first BOTH times, but whatever. If you’ve never heard of it’s basically extreme morning sickness. And by morning sickness, they mean ALLL day sickness. I promise I won’t get too graphic for ya, but in the past 16 weeks I have lost 12 pounds due to things not really staying down. Ya know?
So this is my new reality. IV hydration two times a week for the past week which will continue for the next month. It takes about four hours, but cross your fingers folks I am requesting they speed up the bags today to make it only two hours. Do you know how hard it is to get my toddler covered for that long on top of trying to still get work done too? Quite the juggling act! The IVs are fluids to help rehydrate me and then I get a “baby gatorade” bag once a week to make sure baby girl is getting enough nutrients. She’s is totally fine by the way! Cooking on schedule and happy as one can be in utero.
As frustrating as it has been to be so sick, I am extremely thankful for getting these fluids as they help bring me back up to speed just a little bit. I have had very little energy, which is a mix of being preggo, chasing Carter and life, so anything to give me that extra help is greatly appreciated. I also look at is as a great time to get work done and even blog a little bit. Hopefully this won’t last that long but there is a possibility it can go through the entire pregnancy. It went to 29 weeks with Carter so….ya.
The silver lining in all this are the photos I am sent while being pricked. Sidenote, I totally look like a druggie with holes and bruises all over my arms. I get sent photos of Carter smiling and videos of him saying ‘hi mom’ and it makes it all worth it. For those that love pregnancy, good for you. (bitches) For those that don’t, especially if this is your first, let me tell you it is completely worth it! Going through this again I know that the moment I held Carter for the first time in my arms, every moment of sickness and frustration washed out the window. I mean I got pregnant again right? It’s a tough time for a short period of your life that brings about the BEST GIFT EVER.
So Riley Chase Capretta, I am ready for you and cannot wait to see your beautiful face.
“If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plan.”-unknown
I’ve talked lots before about how timing is a funny thing, especially when it comes to starting and growing my family. As you may know, it was a little bit of a journey to bring Carter into this world as I went through a couple miscarriages prior. I’ve always talked about how things happen for a reason and looking back on that time I am thankful they did. Yes, thankful. It gave me more time to grow myself. It gave more time for my husband and I to grow. It made me truly ready. And I will always believe that if it took some heartaches and tears in order to have Carter, I would do it all over again countless times. His daily infectious laughter is always a sweet reminder of truly what a blessing it is to be his mom.
When Carter was about 5 to 6 months old we decided we were ready to start trying for #2. We have always wanted to have two kids (no more people….man to man coverage! Cannot switch to zone!) and knew the goal was to have them relatively close. Selfishly for me I would be out of shape once and it would be best for Carter too as he would have a little buddy to run around with. Surprisingly enough right after the holidays I got pregnant. Quick I thought. I was filled with a mix of emotions, mainly excitement, but also “What the f*$k…..” Two kids. Wow. We went to the 8 week checkup to hear the heartbeat and that’s when our whole new journey began.
The next few weeks were filled with more emotions than I have ever experienced. It was a waiting game to see if there was a heartbeat mixed with living apart from my husband and trying to keep a smile around my little boy as he started to move all over. Eventually at 10 weeks there was nothing so I went through with an at-home miscarriage, which didn’t work, and resulted in an emergency D&C three days later. Fun stuff I tell ya. I was numb, but since I was so busy with work and a child this time around I didn’t feel like I “had time” to grief. It was just let’s get over it and move on. We could try again in a bit and that’s what I just kept looking forward to.
But inside, I was a mess. I was again so hurt and didn’t understand why this would happen again. I had picked out names. I had planned how I would do their rooms. I had imagined matching outfits for the holidays this year. It just didn’t make sense. I’m young, in shape and “shouldn’t be” someone who struggles with this. I’ve always said it’s because I am a gyno’s daughter. That’s my logic believe it or not. It was a really tough time for me personally but on the outside you wouldn’t know because I went about and kept a brave face for myself and mainly Carter. After a few weeks I decided to really dedicate myself to my son and all he had going on, but there was always a little pang of heartache there. Until well, you know this!
Flash forward to this week. The third week of September. The week this baby would have been due.
I cannot even begin to fathom having another child right now. Like, my mind cannot comprehend it. We are in a crazy and exciting transition with some work projects, I am chasing my toddler and well, life is just crazy. But mainly I couldn’t imagine giving myself to another child just yet. The past few months with Carter have been so memorable. Gone is my little baby and hello I have a boy. The sweetest boy who gives me hugs and kisses. The funniest boy who will find amusement and laughter in just about anything. The most adventurous boy who wants to climb and hop into everything. The little learner boy who is soaking up everything like a sponge and is so smart. I just can’t imagine….I mean, today we had the best mommy-son day filled with lunch, a trip to the farm and a very special treat of some fro yo. We played with trains, giggled a whole lot, had pasta for dinner and as I put him in his crib and said ‘I love you’, he blew me a kiss and said ‘night night.’
I just can’t imagine.
Again, I am thankful and grateful for the experience I went through this past spring. It is allowing me to have the most undivided time and memories with Carter that I would never have been given if I was having a baby this week. It gives me a another full round of holidays with just him. It allows me to totally bottle up and savor every second I have with him being my only child. It has made me a better mom.
And for me, it’s been the most beautiful and unexpected gift.