Ten years together. Six years married. Two children later. One business shared.
Let me just sit back for a second and try to take this all in. We’ve officially been together for a decade and it’s been the wildest journey. Never in a million years would I have guessed my husband would be the guy who did my knee surgery rehab. The one who made me a Prince playlist while I did endless wall slides in a corner. Oh, you didn’t know that story? That’s for another day.
This decade has been amazing. Hard to find the right words really. There have been so many ups and ups and more ups. Blessings too endless to count, fabulous memories, epic adventures, lots of laughs and an abundance of love for my best friend. There’s also been plenty of tears, trials, fights and moments where you just feel defeated either from work, family or each other. It’s never just sunshine, rainbows and unicorns ya know?
What I’ve learned, and there’s so much more I could say, is at the end of the day the old cliche is true, ‘Marriage takes work.’ As with any relationship, it is built, strengthened and survived by that commitment to work at it. That vow to stand strong together and always love one another. To work at it in the big ways and little ways daily, often just a simple ‘I love you.’
The first few years were “easy” in the scheme of things. Being young when we met I was still figuring me an my path out. Wait, I still am. Please tell me I’m not alone? But things were still so fresh and that honeymoon phase. Then we had a big wedding and dream honeymoon and I was starting to be an adult. I blogged on learning to cook, what outfits I wore and snapped photos of assembling flower arrangements. Being a wife, while working on my career, was my everything. Oh, and our two fur babies! Gosh, remember when I used to do 5 posts a week? Overachiever.
As we entered into our first and second wedding anniversary, life got busy. And let me tell you, really busy. But who isn’t “busy” nowadays? We started working together full-time, the business was growing, the highs and lows of getting pregnant, managing both families within miles and all the while still trying to figuring our time. Us. Me. Working to stay strong together. I mean, being an adult is so scary sometimes. Shit gets real. How do you remain in that honeymoon phase and completely in love with your partner? How do you stay in that moment of complete laughter and adventure? How do you enjoy that comfortable silence of watching a trashy reality show? How do you revel in the syncopated monotony of Chinese food delivery on a Friday night? Through work. Through connecting. Through checking in with each other. You make each other a priority. The foundation.
Then, enter in the absolute best two moments of our lives, the birth of Carter and Riley. I thought I loved but husband. I thought I couldn’t love him anymore. But the second he held my son, I melted. The times I stand and watch him brushing Riley’s hair from around the corner pang me with a sadness as I don’t want these moments to end. To watch your best friend turn into a better father for your children than you could’ve ever dreamed of is the most beautiful thing. Pretty dang sexy too. Being parents together adds another level of work and commitment to an ever-growing tower in your relationship. Thankfully on most things with our kids we are on the same page but when we’re not it’s hard. Like really hard. Grab a glass of wine hard.
I guess the point of my rambling is well, first I just miss rambling and writing, and second that our journey is long, beautiful, tiring and really just getting started. By no means are we perfect. We’ve had days we don’t talk because of something so petty. He deals with my obsessive planning, cleaning and unfriendly nature in the morning. I deal with him somehow not being able to figure how to get his clothes in the laundry bin and leaving every cabinet in the kitchen open before he leaves. Every. Single. One. However at the end of the day, after all the crazy and “busy”, he’s my best friend. He makes me laugh. He gives me comfort. He loves me to no end. He is the most selfless, hard-working and humble example of a man. He’s my favorite part to my week with weekly date night. He’s my person.
As our children grow I hope they see and know how much their parents love each other. How much they respect each other. How much they lean on each other. How much fun they have with one another.
Here’s to the next decade….
It’s hard to believe in just a few weeks this guy will be three. To sound like a broken record, where did the time go? I’ve been having so much fun with him and he’s continued to develop into the funniest personality. These are some of my favorites sayings lately…..
Dear Riley Bean,
First, the name Bean. I feel like I’ve documented this before but just in case let’s review. When I was pregnant with you, you were nonstop in my stomach. Always moving. So I called you my little jumping bean. Since then, that’s your nickname and the fact Carter calls you it is just the sweetest ever. Recently we added gordita to the end because you have the most delicious thighs ever. Bean Gordita. It’s perfect.
The other night I was out with a girlfriend and she first asked me how I was doing with you turning one. Truthfully, I’m kind of an emotional mess. Since you’ve been in our lives it’s been pretty crazy especially on the work front as I took on a lot right around the same time. I honestly feel like it was a blur and I was just holding you in my arms for the first time. With that, I feel the mom guilt with you is so easy and I’m sure it grows with a second. We didn’t do My Gym, didn’t do a baby and me, didn’t get our daily nap time…the list goes on. I feel this pang of sadness knowing your our last baby and I just want to stop time so I can truly savor every second of you. But know just because we didn’t do it doesn’t mean I love you any less!
With that, came the next question she had, which was how has it been with you the past year. To be honest, and my eyes will start to water again, I replied that I don’t know if I deserved you. I really don’t. I was terrified to have another child, yet even more so when I found out a girl. A girl? What am I going to do? (We’ll have a good laugh over some stories when you get older…definitely with a cocktail in hand!) But you Bean, you’ve taken me off guard in a way that I never expected. You completed me. You completed our family. You are right where you belong. As a second child you have been more than I could ever ask for. The happiness that exudes from you is infectious, even at 6am when I’m not a morning person. You are filled with so much love and have been the biggest breath of fresh air.
This past year you have helped me grow. You’ve taught me things about myself that I didn’t know. You’ve shown me a deeper love I was so afraid could ever exist. You Bean, you are my everything.
It’s bitter sweet as you turn one and I watch you go from my little baby into a toddler. You’re literally chasing your brother now and can tackle him pretty quickly. My money is on you girl! You’re saying a few words- Mama, Dada, Dog Dog, Hi, Baba. You know, the usual. You have the world’s best laugh and smile. My goodness it warms my heart. You’re obsessed with all things water like your bath and going in the pool. Girl, you can eat. It’s impressive! Your dogs make you squeal with excitement. You love the boys in your life–Carter and dad– and one day you will understand how much they love you. Carter loves to tickle you and I catch him giving you forehead kisses when no one is looking. He also pushes you when you take his toy when he thinks no one is looking. You have your dad wrapped around your finger. (We will be working together on this one) And I’m happy to say you are a mommy’s girl. If I’m in the room we are glued and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I’m so looking forward to the next year of milestones and firsts, particularly when you start talking. We’re so anxious to hear what your sweet little voice sounds like. You have some super cute outfits for spring and summer I can’t wait to see you in. Oh and you’re starting swim lessons so obviously I’m going to have fun getting you the cutest swimsuits ever. We’re going to have fun exploring the farm, going to the beach and making some many beautiful memories now that you’re here with us.
Words will never be able to express what you mean to me and how much I love you.
So, my little Bean, Happy 1st Birthday.
Love you to the moon and back.