It’s time for me to vent a little bit, but prior to doing so remember this forum is my outlet for however I may be feeling. Despite whatever you read know I am still so beyond deeply grateful to be pregnant with this little girl and cannot wait to meet her. That should go without saying right?
So big shocker, but I am still not a fan of being pregnant. Remember last time? This time around it has already been quite the journey and I am only 4 months along. People, that means we’re not even half way! That’s 6 more months to go. Oh vey!
I was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum again. Say that 10 times fast. If you’re up to speed with your royal news, it may sound familiar because it’s the same illness Princess Kate Middleton has. She totally copied me by the way, because I was preggo first BOTH times, but whatever. If you’ve never heard of it’s basically extreme morning sickness. And by morning sickness, they mean ALLL day sickness. I promise I won’t get too graphic for ya, but in the past 16 weeks I have lost 12 pounds due to things not really staying down. Ya know?
So this is my new reality. IV hydration two times a week for the past week which will continue for the next month. It takes about four hours, but cross your fingers folks I am requesting they speed up the bags today to make it only two hours. Do you know how hard it is to get my toddler covered for that long on top of trying to still get work done too? Quite the juggling act! The IVs are fluids to help rehydrate me and then I get a “baby gatorade” bag once a week to make sure baby girl is getting enough nutrients. She’s is totally fine by the way! Cooking on schedule and happy as one can be in utero.
As frustrating as it has been to be so sick, I am extremely thankful for getting these fluids as they help bring me back up to speed just a little bit. I have had very little energy, which is a mix of being preggo, chasing Carter and life, so anything to give me that extra help is greatly appreciated. I also look at is as a great time to get work done and even blog a little bit. Hopefully this won’t last that long but there is a possibility it can go through the entire pregnancy. It went to 29 weeks with Carter so….ya.
The silver lining in all this are the photos I am sent while being pricked. Sidenote, I totally look like a druggie with holes and bruises all over my arms. I get sent photos of Carter smiling and videos of him saying ‘hi mom’ and it makes it all worth it. For those that love pregnancy, good for you. (bitches) For those that don’t, especially if this is your first, let me tell you it is completely worth it! Going through this again I know that the moment I held Carter for the first time in my arms, every moment of sickness and frustration washed out the window. I mean I got pregnant again right? It’s a tough time for a short period of your life that brings about the BEST GIFT EVER.
So Riley Chase Capretta, I am ready for you and cannot wait to see your beautiful face.
“If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plan.”-unknown
I’ve talked lots before about how timing is a funny thing, especially when it comes to starting and growing my family. As you may know, it was a little bit of a journey to bring Carter into this world as I went through a couple miscarriages prior. I’ve always talked about how things happen for a reason and looking back on that time I am thankful they did. Yes, thankful. It gave me more time to grow myself. It gave more time for my husband and I to grow. It made me truly ready. And I will always believe that if it took some heartaches and tears in order to have Carter, I would do it all over again countless times. His daily infectious laughter is always a sweet reminder of truly what a blessing it is to be his mom.
When Carter was about 5 to 6 months old we decided we were ready to start trying for #2. We have always wanted to have two kids (no more people….man to man coverage! Cannot switch to zone!) and knew the goal was to have them relatively close. Selfishly for me I would be out of shape once and it would be best for Carter too as he would have a little buddy to run around with. Surprisingly enough right after the holidays I got pregnant. Quick I thought. I was filled with a mix of emotions, mainly excitement, but also “What the f*$k…..” Two kids. Wow. We went to the 8 week checkup to hear the heartbeat and that’s when our whole new journey began.
The next few weeks were filled with more emotions than I have ever experienced. It was a waiting game to see if there was a heartbeat mixed with living apart from my husband and trying to keep a smile around my little boy as he started to move all over. Eventually at 10 weeks there was nothing so I went through with an at-home miscarriage, which didn’t work, and resulted in an emergency D&C three days later. Fun stuff I tell ya. I was numb, but since I was so busy with work and a child this time around I didn’t feel like I “had time” to grief. It was just let’s get over it and move on. We could try again in a bit and that’s what I just kept looking forward to.
But inside, I was a mess. I was again so hurt and didn’t understand why this would happen again. I had picked out names. I had planned how I would do their rooms. I had imagined matching outfits for the holidays this year. It just didn’t make sense. I’m young, in shape and “shouldn’t be” someone who struggles with this. I’ve always said it’s because I am a gyno’s daughter. That’s my logic believe it or not. It was a really tough time for me personally but on the outside you wouldn’t know because I went about and kept a brave face for myself and mainly Carter. After a few weeks I decided to really dedicate myself to my son and all he had going on, but there was always a little pang of heartache there. Until well, you know this!
Flash forward to this week. The third week of September. The week this baby would have been due.
I cannot even begin to fathom having another child right now. Like, my mind cannot comprehend it. We are in a crazy and exciting transition with some work projects, I am chasing my toddler and well, life is just crazy. But mainly I couldn’t imagine giving myself to another child just yet. The past few months with Carter have been so memorable. Gone is my little baby and hello I have a boy. The sweetest boy who gives me hugs and kisses. The funniest boy who will find amusement and laughter in just about anything. The most adventurous boy who wants to climb and hop into everything. The little learner boy who is soaking up everything like a sponge and is so smart. I just can’t imagine….I mean, today we had the best mommy-son day filled with lunch, a trip to the farm and a very special treat of some fro yo. We played with trains, giggled a whole lot, had pasta for dinner and as I put him in his crib and said ‘I love you’, he blew me a kiss and said ‘night night.’
I just can’t imagine.
Again, I am thankful and grateful for the experience I went through this past spring. It is allowing me to have the most undivided time and memories with Carter that I would never have been given if I was having a baby this week. It gives me a another full round of holidays with just him. It allows me to totally bottle up and savor every second I have with him being my only child. It has made me a better mom.
And for me, it’s been the most beautiful and unexpected gift.
Yep, you read the title right. The following is a story to make you feel better about yourself. To make you laugh if you’re having a bad day. To make you look like a super-parent compared to us. To make you completely grossed out. To make never want a child. Or hey, to even make you raise your hand and say ‘been there.’
We just returned from our first family getaway, a week in Hawaii. It was absolutely amazing and so much fun, yet definitely different with a child (there will be a post soon on that!). Mr. Carter was in heaven swimming every chance he got, drinking smoothies endlessly and eating pineapple like it was his job. We worried about him sleeping well and in fact he’s never slept better. The photo above is from an afternoon we came back to the room and he just passed out. Yep. Out on the tile floor. Snoring.
But that’s not why you clicked on this…
It starts with the fact our kid loves to be naked. Fresh air, don’t care. He routinely pulls off his diaper any chance he gets so we’ve just adopted into this routine and act like we have a little puppy as we clean of puddles every so often. So we’re in our hotel room after a marathon pool session and big shocker Carter is running around naked. We decided to let him roam around, build with his blocks and do who knows what while we relax in bed for a bit. There’s no way for him to drown at the moment so we are “off duty.”
A few minutes into our siesta I start hearing a slurping noise. I think he’s getting some water from his sippy cup (which in my defense you guys know sometimes can make a slurping noise.) We’re laughing and reminiscing about the day and then I jump up. “Ryan, I think our kid is drinking his piss!” I run to the hall where he’s at and sure enough this is what I find…
My beautiful, perfect, angelic little boy naked on all fours with his lips to the ground in a puddle of his pee. And he was slurping.
The moments after are a blur filled with laughing, teeth brushing and more laughing. But there you have it folks. A true story on the time my child drank his own pee.
Do you feel better about yourself?