“I’m basically a single mom right now….”
I just can’t hear it anymore from people who are far from single moms. Trust me, I used to be the person who said this jokingly, until I befriended many single moms. And I quickly learned, I am anything but.
No exaggeration, I probably hear this phrase from someone I know about once a week. It could be in a causal conversation about a husband on a guy’s night, a husband gone with another child for the day, a husband gone for a two-day work trip…whatever, it happens. I’m not to minimize the struggle of being alone by any means, because know being alone with children can be very challenging.
I hear you.
I have empathy.
I’ve recently just wrapped up a yearly process in which my husband is gone the majority of time from Christmas to the middle of March. The days are long and sometimes I don’t even know if I can make it to bedtime. It’s hard, really hard, but there’s also days filled with amazing moments that make up for the epic “on the floor in the middle of the store” type of breakdowns. I can relate to being a “single mom” in this way:
I know what it’s like to tackle nights of no sleep by yourself.
I know what it’s like to try to get two kids fed, dressed and out the door in the morning by yourself.
I know what it’s like to feel like you are all alone and living with two little dictators that cause such a mind cluster because they’re so cute.
I know what it’s like to lie in bed alone listening to every single noise in the house.
BUT, this doesn’t make me a single mom.
If anything I am far from a single mom in these moments. Far from….
I have the resources to get help with sitters when needed for a “night off”.
I have the help of very supportive parents willing to come to my rescue whenever needed.
I have a husband who can send me a message of encouragement, a funny meme or just tell me “I love you” daily.
I have a husband who when he is around is the incredible with letting me catch up on sleep, playing with the kids and brings me coffee in bed on a Sunday.
I have a husband, who along with myself, runs a business in which the two of us are bringing two incomes to our household.
I have a husband who is my partner is this parenting game– someone to help me in tough parenting moments or the one that can be “the bad guy” every so often.
I am not alone.
Think about that next time you utter “I am basically a single mom”. Think about the single mom out there struggling to work hard to make sure her child is fed, while she probably hasn’t caught up on sleep in years. Think about the single mom who has no family around and cannot afford to get help. Next time your partner comes home with a bag full of groceries, think about the single mom who walks or takes a bus everywhere, even to get her child milk. Think about the single mom who looses a day of income when her baby has a fever and she needs to get them to the doctor. Think about the single mom who hasn’t had a “girls night out” in, well, who knows when, because she can’t leave her child for she has no help.
Just think about it
Think about it hard. Think about what it would be like if you really were a single mom. I know I can’t even begin to imagine, which is why I tell my single mom friends that they are the most Amazing, Strong, Selfless, Fearless and simply Incredible women I know. I bow dow to you…..