The Things I Learned in Year Two

Jul 24th

Well would you look at that? We are celebrating are two year anniversary! They say time flies when you’re having fun and I guess that must be true. It seems like just yesterday I was waking up to get ready to walk down the aisle into the arms of truly a dream come true. Just yesterday it’s seems we enjoyed the most wonderful night filled with dancing (our first song!), family and friends. And it really feels like just yesterday we jetted off on the most amazing honeymoon destination possible and enjoyed two weeks of amazing food, drinks and of course beaches. But it wasn’t just yesterday….

Through our first year of marriage I realized one the best things was growing and learning more about each other. We had been together for four years by that time and our fifth year, with new “official” titles, was a learning experience. Because you know what? Life is still happening. It takes work  learning to balance families, learning to make sure it’s not all about work and quite frankly picking who will turn off the light at night. For this I told you about a simple way to solve issues we came up with. Another thing I learned was remembering to “date your spouse” in which I wrote the simply stated post, how to date your wife. It’s something that’s super simple but keeps the spark alive. We rounded out the end of year one with lessons and a wonderful anniversary trip to Catalina Island. Whew…

We’re celebrating this year with a little getaway again. It’s a time to turn the phones off, shut down the computers and really enjoy being with each other. It’s the moment to remember how you really knew they were the “one”, which in my case was easy. It’s the time I enjoy most when we can spend a couple days together talking about the future, what excites us and get out of the “routine”.

I know I have so much more to learn (after 40 years, my parents are the biggest inspiration), but this all brings me to year two of what I have learned….

 


 

1.) Shut it down for meals. I mean all technology. Whether it’s a 5 or 30 minute meal learn to take the time and fully engage with each other. It may the only alone time you have all day.

2.) Send a special note here and there. Whether written on a piece of paper and placed on the fridge, a text or email, send a little message from time to time. A simple “I love you. Have a great day” goes a long way. Communicating shouldn’t always be about wanting the other to do an errand or feed the dogs.

3.) Spend a Sunday in bed. When was the last time you didn’t get out of your pajamas all day? Make it an occasion from time to time filled with watching movies, take a nap (or two!) and ordering Chinese food. Double order egg rolls.

4.) Compromise doesn’t mean a tally system. Don’t keep “points” of when you see one person’s friends or family, or when you do one thing the other likes. Marriage is about the blending and compromising of your lives. It’s definitely challenging at times but don’t let it be a stress.

5.) “Always Kiss Me Goodnight.” This is a framed picture that hangs above our bed and it’s a simple yet important reminder. I have gone to bed angry (which I admit I am not proud of) but always try to remember to always say “I love you” with a kiss, even if it’s a little grumpy.

6.) Great news! I am noticing that in year two the toilet seat going down is much better. I would say that things have improved 25% meaning I have the chance of falling in the bowl in the middle of the night only one in four times. Big success.

7.) Remember to look at each other like you did on your wedding day. This is one of the best pieces of advice I got and I think about it all the time. It’s so simple isn’t it?

8.) Enjoy time on your own. I think in year one I was like “I have to always be with you.” In year two I have learned to have more girl nights, go to dinner with a co-worker in the middle of the week and spend time when I get home catching up on a good book. The good thing about marriage is we’re in it for the long haul so we’ve got plenty of time to hang out. (This doesn’t mean I don’t love it and could spend ALL my time with him)

9.) Have a tickle fight. Ever had a week that’s just a little serious? Break it up and laugh. There’s stress from work, finances, family…you name. Giggle and enjoy the sound of each other’s laughter. It’s truly the best medicine.

10.) Spend time in the kitchen. Whether you like to cook or don’t it’s so much fun to pick out some recipes and make a meal together. We often have our best conversations gabbing and chopping with a glass of wine in tow. Go ahead, give it a try!

 

So with that we move into year three. Who knows that surprises, good or bad, that might come? I know that no matter what I am excited to continue our journey as I can honestly say my biggest cheerleader is sitting by the side.

To my Husband,

Thank you for being so supportive, kind, loving when it comes to reaching my dreams and ours together.

xx,

Wife