Hubby-Wife Life: Knowing “The One”?

Sep 1st


“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,

while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

Lao Tzu


Let’s have a little real talk now shall we. The other day I got into an interesting conversation with a friend about how I knew my hubster was “the one”. Was there a moment you just knew? Did you settle for something because you were afraid you couldn’t find better? Are you sure?

Ok, these are definitely some deep questions (and a little morbid I thought) but it’s real and honest. For starters I did get married young (22), but we had been together for four years prior. “Well weren’t you too young to know?” was the next question. Thankfully to my parental units I like to say I grew up fast. I was always independent, started working very young and had a tendency at my beginning dating stages to date older. (Even got a fake ID Fed-Exed to me by my mom so I could get into a club with my older bf at the time). Going to school in NY for a while I dated what I called “United Nations”. From Puerto Rican to Serbia I got a chance to know all types of people—ages, backgrounds, etc.

“But what made him so different?” Great convo right? Well to be honest we were both actually getting out of relationships when we met each other. And it was by pure fate we met I’d like to say. I tore my ACL and he did my rehab…total cliche story right? It’s so crazy to say this corny expression but when you least expect it, you find it. I wasn’t looking. He wasn’t looking. I always envionsed being single and mingling until I was 30, and I never even wanted children (thanks in part to being scared out of my mind by a gyno father.) But we connected. That was it.

“But, come on Em, he’s 10 years old?” Yep, that was the first reaction from many of my friends. Thanks ladies 😉 And you better believe the reaction was on his side too. “She’s how old?” “Can she even drink?” I’m pretty sure on both sides there was a lot of speculation, worry, confusion and a whole lots of questions. To be entirely honest, except when it came to some social settings early on like getting in bars, etc, we have not felt any issue with our age difference. We love it. Our favorite game to play is “where were you” when listening to the 90’s channel. Gets a little awkward at times, but it’s pure comedy. They say guys grow up later anyways right?

“How long did you wait?” I dated a guy for a year and couldn’t tell him I loved him. Within a week I knew I loved hubster more than I ever thought possible. From extremely early on we talked about our future, getting married and having a family. Crazy!?! I was the single party loving gal who didn’t want kids! Why did I feel the itch now? That was my signal that I knew he was “the one” because I saw myself in his future. We didn’t pull the “Hollywood special” and get married in 6 months. Despite knowing we would one day get married we took time to develop our relationship as well as ourselves. We both went through challenging times with work, friends and family but it only made us stronger. The day we got engaged (three years in) was the best and our wedding was even better!! Sealed the deal.

“Ever worry that maybe it won’t last?” Not one bit! I’m a girl so I will be honest there are those lovely feelings of insecurity, jealousy and just a worry bug for no reason. I’m not perfect and through the course of dating definitely had breakdowns, jealous moments and was full of “what ifs” and such. It’s only natural right? (And while we’re being honest, I was cheated on in a former relationship so I think it only adds fuel to the fire) But here’s how I know everything will be amazing in my marriage. We communicate, share our feelings and have open discussions. I’m a firm believer through positive and honest communication all problems can be solved. He’s my best friend and I love spending as much time as possible. He makes me better as a person. He’s my biggest supporter. He makes me the person I love being. He brings out the best qualities and I can completely by myself (goofs, stinks and all!). I fall in love more every day.

So in a nutshell, condensed very much for your viewing pleasure, that’s how he’s “THE ONE”

I feel that people sometimes feel like there’s a clock ticking on settling down or that you have to be married by 25, kids by 30 and white picket fence in years to come. Life’s not about that in my opinion. Whether you’re 40 or 21, I say follow your own path. Do what makes you happy and the most secure. There’s going to be people making comments along the way no matter what you do….you can’t please them all. So focus on you! That’s my Mrs. C advice to share.