What Kind of Friend Are You?

Sep 5th

The other night I was laying in bed watching Season 1 reruns of “Sex in the City.” You know the first episodes where they develop the characters and intermix their friendships? It got me thinking about my relationships with different friends and sparked the question, ‘What type of friend am I?” Though I am young, I’d like to think I have had a wide array of different experiences. From schools and jobs to being with someone 10 years older I would say I’ve had an evolution of all different kinds of friendships.

We all have busy schedules in this crazy time of life. Whether you have kids are back at school, or whether you yourself are in school, there’s a lot to juggle. Then let’s not forget that whole concept of having a job with responsibilities in order to pay the bills. And just to add a cherry on top let’s throw in all the different time zones. I’m guessing you have friends who aren’t just a mile down the street? Needless to say there’s a lot for everyone to manage and friendships often have to get pushed aside a little bit. Can I tell you how long I have been playing phone tag with my friend in Indiana? We’re going on about two weeks now! (hi Nicole!!)

As I analyze myself I came up with different “types” of friendships. At the end of the day I find a little bit of myself in each of these. There’s people of all ages that I have drawn close to the past couple years and I don’t know what I would do without them. Each one of my relationships means so much to me and I value my friendships for different reasons. This post is a reminder that friendships are like any relationship….they take time, commitment and of course a lot of love.

So here’s my thoughts. I’d love to know what you think!


The Facebook Friend: This is a “friend” on FB, but really when was the last time you actually had some contact. The other night husband was going through my FB on my iPhone and he asked me numerous times “Who’s this?”. I shrugged, giggled a little and replied that I had no clue. Bad right? Of course it’s fun to see people from high school or maybe past boyfriends (yes, you know you do this!), but what is the extent of those 1,200 friends? And the irony of this is how much personal info you share to people you hardly know. Yep, I’m guilty.

The Social Media Friend: Along with being friends on FB, you and this friend connect over other social media outlets like Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter and heck, maybe Words With Friends. You “like” each other’s photos and enjoy re-pinning on their crafty ideas. However, if you were to see them in the store you might walk the other way to avoid any real conversation that just might be well, awkward. The only thing you may have to talk about is the last photo they posted of their homemade cobbler and that just might be a little stalkerish.

The Texting Friend: ┬áThis is a friend whom you don’t see much, but enjoy sending text messages here and there to stay in touch. You have a surface level relationship in which there’s no real depth, but you enjoy the instant communication. In the fast paced technology world there’s always a new app or way to stay in contact with someone’s life. For instant gratification you always know the texting friend is there.

The Time Doesn’t Stop Friend: Can I tell you how many of these I have? Having gone to school on the East Coast it’s often hard with the time difference to connect. There can be weeks where I don’t talk to one of my friends, heck sometimes months, but when you pick up the line and start chatting it’s like you’re back in the dorm rooms chatting up a storm. No time seems to have gone by and you pick up right where you left off. In my opinion, these are some of my strongest friendships. You don’t have to talk all the time but the connection and friendship is so strong you consider them one of your closest friends.

The Tell It Like It Is Friend: This is the friend who has no filters. When you ask if you hair looks ok, they respond, “Actually no it doesn’t.” When you’re looking for a reassuring comment that you’re right after you explain a fight with your husband they respond, “Nope you’re in the wrong.” This is the friend you know will always shoot straight even if it’s not what you want to hear. The fact you’re still friends and have open honestly is a true testament to your friendship. I’ll say that these are often my favorite people.

The Single Friend: This is the friend you can call for a good time. If you’re in a relationship you live vicariously through them and their stories. Whether a crazy night at the club or picking which of the suitors you like, they’re always full of fun stories. More often than not you’re listening or asking questions, possibly giving some outsider advice. They’re not necessarily the friend you talk to about relationship advice, but rather when there’s a great sale at your favorite store. A big perk? They’re always up for grabbing a drink!

The Attached Friend: Need to vent about your partner not putting the toilet seat down? This is your gal to go to. I’ve found in the course of my friendships that I have gravitated to having some more married friends. It’s hard sometimes with other friends to talk about certain things or explain the schedules, but most times the married friend gets it. It’s a little change that happens after you say “I do.” Nothing bad, just a difference that doesn’t seem to have a definition.

The Call Anytime Friend: Are there times you sometimes just need someone to talk to? Someone to listen to your thoughts and not necessarily give you a response. I find that I am often this friend for a good number of my friends. They call to tell me about a breakup, or a great new job, or possibly the fight they had with their mom. They’re not looking for my words of wisdom but rather just need someone who will answer their phone and listen to them, with no judgment.

The Best Friend: The best friend is the one who encompasses all of these. You “poke” each other on FB, call at any time and of course repin all their fabulous recipes on Pinterest. They provide the best of each of these qualities and are the person you trust most. And yes, it’s ok to have more than one best friend because everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses.