With just a few weeks left until little man’s first birthday, guess what? We did it! It’s almost been a year and our child is alive. He’s happy. He’s healthy. He’s simply amazing!
Going through this exciting journey is scary enough, but to go through it with the most amazing partner has made it something that’s so hard to describe. From the moment Carter was born I’ve been so lucky to have a hands-on partner ready to give this child so much love. I didn’t change one diaper in the hospital, I had help during those nights that seemed endless in the beginning, I have been able to take showers, but most importantly I still have my best friend. Becoming parents together is hard. You have different opinions, you might be a little tired and sometimes it’s hard to find time for each other while giving all your love to this new gift that has come into your lives. Sure we have had our arguments but this past year has brought us closer together in ways I didn’t think possible (not just talking delivery room).
To see my child so enamored with his father is truly the greatest gift:
To hear laughter from down the hall with the two of them together.
To find them fast asleep for an afternoon nap in bed.
To watch them eating spaghetti and ravioli.
To seeing them splash and blow bubbles in the pool.
To listen to them crawling down the hallway.
To enjoy seeing them in jerseys on game take taking in some football.
To love those moments when they’re together and time seems to stand still.
Is there a greater gift? These two men in my life are my biggest and littlest loves. To think of a day without them or when they weren’t in my life is something so hard to fathom. Each day has been such an amazing blessing even when filled with being peed on, a couple hours of sleep or avocado thrown in the face. It’s been an adventure, a wild and crazy one, that’s made me cherish the time my husband and I have together. Those nights we stay in and have a glass of wine while catching up on our favorite show, or going out to dinner and eating warm food at the same time. I’ve come to appreciate “us” time more and value the friendship and relationship we have.
With that and in celebration of our child being alive we’re headed off for a few days of mommy and daddy time: Drinks without having to ‘rock-paper-scissors’ over being the designated driver, sleeping in past 7am (if we can), not changing diapers, nowhere to go or nowhere to be and un-interrupted meals. Cheers Ry, we did it!
Just what you want, more advice huh? Everyone from your mother to the old woman in the grocery store will be dishing out advice from the moment you have a little bump showing. There’s no way to stop the comments from coming, so smile and nod, then decide what you want to take in. In general I’m going to be honest and say that adjusting to life as a mom really wasn’t that hard. Of course there are sleepless nights, and of times you will just start crying (holy hormones), but this is all to be expected. For me, the maternal instinct kicked in and I have felt pretty natural with everything.
Going through my pregnancy I felt people try to scare you with comments like “You’re life is over” or “You’ll never sleep again.” You know? Seems there’s often a lot of negativity in the air. Oh, and the horror stories of deliveries everyone will tell you about. Did you read about mine? It was one of the most amazing and wonderful experiences I have ever been through. Yep, that’s right, it was awesome!
I think I had a couple things that I really tried to stand by to help me with our adjustment. The first a tip my dad gave me was to have Carter adjust to my life, not the other way around. So following his words we went for brunch and mimosas the day after we came home from the hospital. My husband thought I was crazy and I’m sure his great grandma thought he would get the SARS virus by being out of the house, but guess what? It was great, he slept and this momma was a happy camper with a little bit of bubbly. The second piece was learning to not be in control the whole time. As someone who has OCD and struggles with letting go, this was a little harder for me. It was ok that I went to get my nails done or I went to yoga the first week he was born. I love every moment with him, but I needed my time too, not to mention time alone with my husband. This also comes in handy when you are planning on doing something and it just doesn’t happen for whatever reason. These two things were my life savers to sanity of being a new mom, but I thought I would share a few more tips.
Remember, this is what worked for ME, and you might not agree. That’s totally fine!!!
Whew, take it all in? I’m sure I could ramble off so many more things but I think this is good for the first year. Who knows what else I am going to learn as I head into year two.
When Carter was born we were blessed with so much love from family and friends. We had visitors galore, more cupcakes than I knew what to do with (obvi I ate them) and home cooked meals for a few weeks as we adjusted to our new lifestyle. The outpouring of kindness was more than we could have ever asked for. The other night I was thinking about some of my favorite things that would make a wonderful gift for a new mom, so I decided to throw some out there for ya in case you know anyone expecting soon. One tip if I may? Give the new family space and don’t be the lingering guest. Come in and say hi, maybe hold the new bundle for a minute, but then get out and don’t take it personal. The new family is adjusting and need their own time plus rest, not the feeling that they have to entertain visitors. Just some food for thought